Reconnecting with Your Inner Child: A Journey to healing your Self-Esteem

Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle of self-doubt or negative self-talk?

Maybe you find yourself drawn to situations that trigger old wounds, or struggle with unmet needs that linger from childhood. This is where inner child work comes in – a powerful tool for self-discovery and building healthy self-esteem.

Imagine You and Your Younger Self

Picture yourself as a child. What was your younger self like? What did they dream of becoming? What made them feel loved and secure? Inner child work is about reconnecting with that younger you, understanding their unmet needs, and offering them the compassion and nurturing they may have missed.

It's Not About Blame, It's About Healing

This isn't about placing blame on our parents. They did the best they could with the tools they had.  Inner child work is about meeting our younger selves with an open heart and giving them what they craved – a sense of safety, love, and acceptance. Because everything is energy and our emotions are just energy in motion, the sticky ones are just trapped ones that need releasing.

The Duality of Age: Chronological vs. Subconscious

We all have two ages, well we have three now thanks to science: our chronological age or biological age and our subconscious age, the last one often referred to as our inner child. Many of us find ourselves emotionally stuck at a younger age, carrying the weight of unaddressed experiences. This can manifest in various ways, like:

• Limiting Beliefs: "I'm not good enough," "I don't deserve success," all stem from a younger self who craved validation but never received it.
• Insecurities: Feeling constantly on edge or needing excessive reassurance can be rooted in an inner child who felt unsafe or unseen.
• Anxiety: That overwhelming feeling of dread walking into a room full of strangers? It might not be your adult self fearing judgment, but your inner child reliving the pain of being left out at lunch.

The Cafeteria Analogy

Imagine walking into a crowded room for a work event. Your adult self sees an opportunity to network, but your inner child feels a surge of anxiety. It doesn't make sense, you get frustrated with yourself and don't understand what's happening - you're a grown adult. Yes, AND your inner child could be remembering the sting of being left out at lunch in elementary school, or high school. This was me, I always thought I was just an introvert, but it turns out after doing this work that that little part of me was still fearing rejection and reliving the same feelings of isolation. 

Because this was SUCH a trigger for me, I'll share what I did to secure and soothe my inner child:

Acknowledge and Validate:

• Recognize the inner child's fear - "You're feeling anxious in a crowded room again. It must be bringing back memories of being left out at lunch."

Empathize and Offer Comfort:

• It's okay to feel that way. That was a tough experience, and it's understandable that part of you still feels scared.
• Imagine holding your younger self's hand and saying, 'You're not alone. I'm here with you now, and I won't let anyone be mean to you.'

Challenge Limiting Beliefs:

• We're not in the cafeteria anymore. You're an adult now, and you have the power to choose who you interact with.

Reframe the Situation:

• Instead of seeing this as a threat, view it as an opportunity to meet new people and expand your network.

Empower the Adult Self:

• Remember, you're a capable person with a lot to offer. Take a deep breath and focus on introducing yourself to one person at a time.

Take Action:

• Start small: set a goal to introduce yourself to just one or two people at the event. Celebrate your success!

Inner Child Visualization:

• If this is coming up for your before the event, close your eyes and visualize yourself at the event, but this time with your adult self confidently taking charge. Imagine your inner child feeling safe and supported by your adult self.

Remember, progress over perfection. Inner child work in essence is about reparenting ourselves

By engaging in inner child work, we essentially become the loving parent we never had. Let me say it again, it's not because we didn't have loving parents, it's because we have a need that wasn't fully met in the way that we needed it to be met. When we do this work we begin to identify our triggers and understand how they connect to past experiences. We learn to reparent ourselves by offering the comfort, encouragement, and validation our younger selves craved and still need. When we meet that need, the trapped energy frees itself.

Examples and Prompts to Soothe Your Inner Child:

• Journaling: Write a letter to your younger self. Tell them what you're proud of them for, and what you wish they knew.
• Creative Expression: Engage in activities you enjoyed as a child, like drawing, coloring, or playing music. Let your inner child have fun and express themselves freely.
• Positive Affirmations: Repeat positive statements about yourself daily. "I am worthy of love and happiness." "I am capable and strong." There is great science behind why affirmations work - you can read more here
• Inner Child Visualization: Imagine yourself holding your younger self. Offer them words of comfort and reassurance.

Why Inner Child Work Matters

Inner child work is a form of identity work. It helps us understand who we are, and why we behave the way we do, and what we truly need to feel fulfilled. It explaine why we go from 0-100 as an adult. Because that's what kids do. Why we might lie, because that's what all teenagers do. Why we might be afraid of certain things, because the little version of us was. By healing our younger selves, we pave the way for a more confident, compassionate, and self-assured present.

Remember, this is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a commitment to self-compassion. But by taking that first step, you're opening the door to a world of possibilities – a world where your inner child finally feels seen, heard, and loved.

I hope this was valuable for you today. You are perfect. You are whole. There is nothing wrong with you - there might just be a little part of you that needs a little more TLC and love and understanding. Go find that part of you and watch the magic that unfolds. That's how Worthy Wands were born, you can read that story here.

All my love, 

Amanda - Chief Worthiness Officer - Worthy Wands